Tags

, , , , , , ,

Welcome one and all!  I have decided to join the masses in the Blogosphere and have a central location to serve as my creative outlet.  So what is this blog all about?  What is my inspiration?  Well, for starters, I am a male nurse.  I am the real life personification of Gaylord Focker, right down to the white nursing shoes.  Being a male in a predominately female profession has its advantages and disadvantages.  

For starters, when you ask a patient to do something, there is typically very little rebuttal because either A: They think you’re a doctor, and your word is gospel, or B:  You’re a 6ft, 250 lbs, bearded tower of terror and they dare not envoke your wrath.  Both can be humorous at times because I would describe my overall demeanor as being very laid back and goofy, and I get asked quite often on a regular basis why I didn’t become a doctor (that’s another post for another day…).

Another advantage is patient mobility.  Have someone who is a difficult transfer?  No problem.  Need a boost in the bed?  No problem.  Not having to call on additional staff to assist allows you to get tasks completed faster and allows for more staff availability on the floor.  
This however can work to a disadvantage as well.  As being the staff member who has an ample supply of brute strength, you are frequently called upon by your female counterparts to help with said issues, as well as getting those IV supplies off of the top shelf, breaking the seal on that piggyback, and being called on to help the nurse with the patient that gets a little “grabby”.  

You also get to the distinct privilege of being privy to all those female conversations.  You all know the ones.  Open forum discussion about certain monthly visitors, comparative analysis of differing aspects of female anatomical features, woes of childbearing, and of course…..male bashing.  I have employed various tactics in making my presence known as the lone male in attendance.  Anything from a loud cough or throat clearing, getting up and walking away making sure to pass into all of their fields of vision with my eyes shut and my fingers in my ears, to a blatant “Hi!  I’m sitting over here!”  The typical response I receive to these displays of defiance is, “Oh sorry…you’re just one of the girls to us!”
So that covers the work life in a nutshell.  Now on to the home life.  I am a daddy to a beautiful three year old daughter, and my wife is, at the time of this posting, 8 months pregnant with our second daughter.  My only form of male companionship at home is the dog, and he’s been neutered!  
I grew up as a family of four.  My mother and father of course, as well as myself and my younger brother grew up in the suburbs of Southwestern Ohio.  Mom was a self proclaimed tomboy, growing up with all brothers herself, and Dad was everything from soccer coach to Boy Scout Leader.  I guess you can say I grew up with not much estrogen fueled influences. 

My wife and I met in college. After a 3 year courtship, I proposed on the beach at night during a full harvest moon.  After a 3 year long engagement, we were married. We had moved to Southern Ohio where I had found work at a local hospital. After 3 years of marriage (do you see a pattern yet?) my wife and I found out we were expecting. 
The announcement arrived to my family with bittersweet emotions. My mother had been battling ALS (ya know, the one with the ice bucket challenge) for several years.  My dad told me after her passing that when we announced our pregnancy he breathed a sigh of relief over the fact that he knew we would have my mom for at least another 9 months. I found out at her funeral it was her dying wish to become a grandmother. I take comfort in the solace that her suffering is over, but am disheartened at the fact that my children will never know her. She passed away when my daughter was just shy of 6 months old. 

When my mother heard the news, a sly grin came over her face. “Heaven help you son if you have a daughter.”

“What do you mean?”

“You have no clue when it comes to little girls,” she said.   

I looked over at my glowing bride who attempted to hide the humor she had found in this. The look alone confirmed to me that she agreed with my mother. 

“Oh c’mon,” I said. “How bad can it be?”  

The whole room erupted with laughter. 

Several months later at the 20 week ultrasound, the long awaited moment had rendered the verdict. I didn’t even have to wait for the sonographer to tell us. I saw it plain as day on the screen. It was a girl.  Instantly I experienced rapid fire flash imagery running through my brain. Tea parties, dolls, pink and purple everywhere!  Something I had never experienced in my life. Then came the scarier flashes. Prom dresses, boys, wedding dresses!!!  I sat there in the sonography room just dumbfounded. I wasn’t upset that it was a girl by any means. I had just always assumed I would have a son, and in my mind’s eye that was what I had pictured when the thought of children arose. I was in completely foreign water. What am I going to do?  They’re right!!!!  I don’t know ANYTHING about girls!!!!!

Needless to say, the following Spring my daughter was born. From the very beginning I was hooked. She had me wrapped around her finger and I could do nothing to stop it. Fast forward 3 years, my daughter still has me wrapped, the only difference is now she knows it and knows how to exploit it!  

So now that you have the backstory, this is my life in a nutshell. Having a daily battle of wits with a cunning toddler, working full time as a nurse, all the while supporting my wife on the eve of her giving birth to another bundle of joy that will be our second daughter.   I can hear my mother up in heaven looking down at all of this, loving every minute of it….and laughing her ass off.  It’s a chaotic life, but it’s a good life. I’m surrounded by people who I love and who love me back.  I wouldn’t trade it for the world. 

Advertisements